Friday, April 7, 2017

Anything That Doesn't Kill You...



My Grandson told me the other day that anything that doesn't kill you only makes you develop coping skills that aren't healthy and a sick sense of humor.  True that... and I'm a shining example... so it made me Smile in spite of it not being a particularly Positive statement, just an astute observation.  The Truth isn't always Positive, which is why some people can't handle the Truth... but I'm a lousy Liar. Besides, you don't have to maintain a good Memory if you just speak Truth since it remains constant.




I realize that my development of coping skills that aren't healthy are just all the more apparent as I'm Aging and still trying to cope with some heavy stuff.  And the sick sense of humor has developed along the way too, since I'd rather laugh than cry about almost anything, wouldn't you?   I don't have to give up my sick sense of humor tho', but the unhealthy coping skills have to be addressed now... it ain't Fun, so I'm struggling with that part.




Too many changes and I don't feel much like myself right now due to it, my routine has altered too significantly and overthinking things just makes me feel exhausted.   Thinking about basics like food and drinks, scrutinizing labels to ensure what's in it all, weighing better choices carefully, having too much spoilage of fresh stuff since we live a long ways out now so I try to buy less often... excessive thirst since I can't have the 'usual'... well, I can, but I shouldn't.  




It's left me feeling thirsty most of the time, parched actually, since Ice Water might quench but it is not the least satisfying.  And carrying around enough of it is inconvenient since I don't like drinking it Warm nor paying a premium for Water while out and about!  I'm finding I abhor the aftertastes and flavors of the Vitamin Waters and they sure are expensive for something that tastes vile to me.  I bought a lot of them in various flavors and brands... haven't found one yet that I'd buy a second time or can force down all of.  Guess I'll stick with Iced Water with a Citrus wedge stuck in it.




The Grandson and I had a lot of errands Today since he was out of School and in need again of new shoes and it was his turn to pick out a couple pair since I just got paid.   His Sister had picked out her two pair with the last check, Lord the shoes the kids wanna wear are spendy!   I don't do what I used to do with my Kids tho' when they were growing up.  Since in Adulthood they finally Confessed they used to get teased a lot by their peers for wearing cheap shoes.  I hadn't known, they held their mud and endured the taunts. 


 


Ironic really since we lived in The Hood and most of the taunting came from Kids whose Families were on Public Assistance!  But they sure always had the Designer duds and got uppity with the ensembles that the Kids from Working Class Families wore that their Families could afford without receiving Assistance.  So mebbe I try to over-compensate now that I'm raising some Grandkids and have better means than way back then, I dunno? 




  Besides, we don't live in The Hood anymore and the Pretentiousness around Subdivision Hell is rampant.  But, Princess T now has a Posse of Good Friends, I'm Grateful for that, she's finally fitting in.  So we have a lot of sleepover Kids lately, got one Tonight in fact, I don't mind sleepover Kids because then I'm not her only Playmate.   She picks Nice Friends tho', not the Pretentious ones, I like these Kids she's become BFF's with.  Most of her besties are other Children of mixed race and Color, just like her, they've banded together in solidarity I suppose.  These times since the Crazy Election have been very polarized for a lot of reasons, Ethnicity being one of them unfortunately.




So, anyway, the Young Prince looked for Bargains in the Styles he liked tho', he is a Child of astute observations as I've said before, he is aware he's being raised by fixed income folks.   Buy one pair at regular price and get the 2nd pair 50% off... he found a nice 2nd pair 70% off to increase our Savings... so we got out of there under $130 bucks, whew!  He's got big Man sized feet... well, all of him is Man sized now actually, no more Children's Dept. for him!   It's like hanging out with a Grown Man now and not a Child.  I know he's only 16, but we have some deep conversations when we're alone together, which he initiates, he's an Old Soul and has Wisdom beyond his tender years.




We talked about Mortality Today, it was his Topic of choice, guess my Medical Emergency got him to thinking about how fragile Grandpa and I are getting?  He Hoped the hard questions he wanted to ask didn't bother me?  I assured him I'm Okay talking about anything, even my Mortality, since I don't Plan on becoming an Immortal.  We were out a long time, getting things done... and I'd hastily forgotten my Ice Water on the Kitchen Island when we left that Morning.   We stopped for drinks, it was Hot Today, in the 90's and I was parched.   I didn't even realize it until he interrupted my trance like state of Being... telling me I had been standing there staring at the Diet Sodas in the refrigerated section a long time... when I'd gone over there to try to find a Healthy alternative Choice!!!   I wasn't even aware I was doing it... my Mind was drifting I suppose?




 Are you Okay Gramma he asked?  You haven't seemed Okay since the Night the Paramedics came, you don't seem like yourself... and I suppose he's right... I'm not.  Mebbe I won't be anymore, I just don't know yet?  I just know I'm not coping well now and my Mind just wanders in a rather Lost Fog sometimes that I'm not even aware of, 'til someone interrupts the trance.  Developing coping skills that aren't unhealthy is going to be quite different and so far not nearly as effective.  But at least I still have my sick sense of humor, Thank God!

*******

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


3 comments:

  1. Question; Paramedics for you? Pass out? Sounds like your grandson can be very helpful for you as well as stressful! Glad the granddaughter is fitting in with good friends now!

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    1. Yes, I had a Medical Emergency a few days ago, Diabetic reading was dangerously high very late at Night. Doing better now, have a follow-up this week with my Docs. Dawn... The Bohemian

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  2. Dear Dawn, I too, have tried to kick the soda habit for Type 2 diabetes. Last resort around here when i crave something with decent taste is, Ocean Spray cranberry juice in a ration of may 1:6 with water. The cranberry helps with the taste--and is good for your kidneys too..so over the day--I get a healthy glass of cranberry juice just not all at once. The other is just plain lemon slices---in summer add mint. That is very nummy and even my picky d-in-laws like that. Kudos to the young prince for stepping out of himself and keeping a watchful eye on you. Dehydration will quickly cause the 'dumbed out confusion' he described. Keep on trucking and it will get better. Hugs, Sandi

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